Archive for June, 2010
Dukkha. More Than Just Suffering.
21 year ago
Oh, such sufferin’
My days are full of sufferin’
And Bufferin!
-Maurice Sendak/Carole King, from Really Rosie
Life is Suffering.
-Buddha
The Four Noble Truths are at the heart of Buddhism, and the first Noble Truth is, “Life is suffering.” – right? Not exactly. As with biblical translations, some words and concepts don’t translate well. The Buddha actually said that life was dukkha. I like this word. I wish it was a word that I could use more often on a daily basis, except that people probably would think that I was even stranger than they already think I am. It is a word that conveys a lot more ground than the word, “suffering”(and, to me, sounds like something that you don’t want to step in).
So, what is dukkha? My favorite way to explain it is by visual analogy. I heard once that it referred to a cart with a wobbly wheel.. On Wikipedia, they also mention the image of a pottery wheel that is off center…in other words, something is off kilter, just not quite right. How often has my own life felt like that? Like something is just dissatisfactory; just a bit off, a bit wrong.
The Buddha said that everything impermanent and changing is dukkha1 and everything is impermanent or changing so, by that definition, everything is dukkha. The Buddha went into descriptive detail about this dukkha. In fact, he identified three types:
- Ordinary dukkha
- The dukkha produced by change
- Dukkha produced by conditioned states2
Ordinary Dukkha
This is what we think of as suffering. That routine, everyday dukkha. Not only the biggies like aging, sickness, death, physical or mental distress, losing or being separated from loved ones, but also those other things that cause us suffering on an everyday basis: dealing with that irritating co-worker or spouse, not getting that new big screen TV that you really, really thought you needed, having to balance your checkbook and pay bills when you’d much rather be out kayaking. It’s interesting that birth is also in the category of ordinary dukkha. Birth is a happy experience, right? The experience of birth itself is likely painful, and it is also our introduction to the wonderful world of dukkha. In fact, the Buddha went into amazing detail in ways in which birth is dukkha3.
The Dukkha of Change
Impermanence is one of the three Dharma Seals of Buddhism4 – that are marks of a truly Buddhist teaching. I remember at the end of the final episode of Six Feet Under, Nate says to Claire, looking at their family just before she leaves, “You can’t take a picture of it – it’s already gone 5.” This is the way our lives are. A moment happens, and it’s gone. From one moment to the next, there are changes in our bodies, changes in our environment. This is the way things are…but how often do we want to accept change? I sometimes look at my belligerent teen and wistfully see the little girl she was, but sometimes, in almost the same instance, I know she’ll outgrow this difficult phase and I see the woman she is becoming as she grows up. Even happiness and positive change is dukkha, because the happy circumstances will eventually change. It’s our clinging to the way things are and not wanting to allow this change that gets us into all this dukkha (or clinging to the way we want things to be because we can’t accept the way they are).
The Dukkha of Conditioned States
This one is more difficult to understand and explain. In Buddhist teaching everything is conditioned, meaning it’s dependent on something else6 – interdependence. How is this a cause of dukkha? When this is explained, it is usually in terms of the five skandhas. The term skandha, means, “mass, heap, pile, bundle or tree trunk 7 . So – a skandha is one of a bunch of “heaps 8”…that make up what we call a self. The heaps are form (matter), sensation, perception, mental formations, and consciousness. In other words, together, my body (and also, by extension, my stuff), sensations, perceptions, thoughts, and consciousness are what I call “me.” But, if I look, I can’t really find “me” in any one of these heaps. These heaps are also in a state of flux and dependent on other things, they are dependent on each other, they are conditioned and impermanent like everything else. There is no separate, permanent self, and no self that’s not dependent on something else. Yet, I’m really attached to me. I want nice things to happen to me. Me. Me. Me. This type of clinging to a permanent, independent self is dukkha.
If I had to put it briefly, dukkha all comes down to attachment and clinging. Learning to be flexible, accept change as a constant, and to let go and not need to force and control everything is what dealing with dukkha is all about. The Buddha described the Eightfold Path as the path leading to the cessation of dukkha…but that’s for another post. Right now it’s enough to try my best to follow the path and deal with the daily dukkha as it comes at me. In the words of Mr. Ashleigh Brilliant, “I try to deal with one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”
- http://web.ukonline.co.uk/buddhism/page4.htm ↩
- http://dharma.ncf.ca/introduction/truths/NobleTruth-1.html ↩
- I won’t go into them all here, but check them out at http://bit.ly/aWggVR ↩
- http://www.eastern-philosophy-and-meditation.com/buddhism-religion.html –the other seals being no-self (anatta) and dukkha ↩
- This was one of my favorite series endings, perfectly fitting if you watched the entire series. You can see it at http://dysfunkee.com/2010/06/25/six-feet-under-finale-redux/ ↩
- This is the doctrine of dependent arising, or Pratītyasamutpāda (try to say that). Maybe I’ll try to write more about dependent co-arising later, but not now ↩
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skandha ↩
- I like the word heap here. It reminds me of all the heaps I have around my house…or would have if my husband wasn’t a clean nut. Because he is a clean freak, these are heaps that are constantly in flux, being created and dismantled. It is my practice to create these heaps, like those Tibetan monks that create their mandalas (though my heaps aren’t very pretty and don’t really require much effort), then let them go as they get cleaned up by my husband. My husband, of course, doesn’t much like this practice. ↩
The Buddha Blues Brothers?
11 year ago
by CJ
in Zencessories
I found this pair of t-shirts at the local Target store. Looks like Buddha is now running a casino and playing live music. I actually kind of like the first shirt, but I’m not too fond of Lucky Lu.
A more traditional, peace-loving Buddha was spotted at a store at the mall on another shirt:
What do you think?
Answer Me Buddha
21 year ago
by CJ
in Zencessories
Dissatisfied with the boring answers your Magic 8-ball gives you? What would Buddha do? This one gives such pat responses such as, “Bend With the Wind,” and, “Seek the Truth.”
What do you think of this Zencessory?
Are these really quotes from the Buddha? Probably a lot of other quotes flying around out there on the Internet also didn’t originate with the Buddha.
The Answer Me Buddha reminded me of this video I recently saw online:
After all, “Answers come from within.” Did the Buddha say that?
Puppy Metta
31 year ago
Trying to keep up a meditation practice in the midst of family life can be difficult. Trying to practice compassion in the midst of teenagers can be difficult. My primary practice is zazen, and it’s challenging enough to keep up a daily practice. I’d like to sit sesshin, and occasionally feel like someone will suggest that my practice is a bit, “girlie-mon,1” because I don’t go on retreats right now due to family commitments. When a well-known teacher from any tradition comes around for a non-residential retreat or class, I consider going, if I can.
So, when I saw that Sharon Salzburg, a well-known teacher of vipassana (insight) meditation was coming around on my birthday, I signed up. In addition to sitting meditation, metta is often included as a vipassana practice, and Ms. Salzburg is a well-known teacher of the metta-bhvana practice, having written a book on the subject. I found it interesting to read that she had initially dismissed this practice, before she really gave it a chance it and found it really did expand her capacity to love others2, because I’ve had much of the same reaction. Why would anyone have a negative reaction to a practice designed to help her be more loving, compassionate, and caring? I think my reaction was twofold: first, the word, “lovingkindness,” somehow seemed cloyingly sweet to me, bringing to mind a new age group I was in once that seemed to be full of people with perpetually plastered smiles3 and second – and more importantly – I think I had lost my trust in my ability to truly love, having grown up with a parent who gave me constant messages like, “you don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
Metta is a Pali word that refers to “loving-kindness,friendliness, benevolence, amity, friendship, good will, kindness, love, sympathy, and active interest in others4, and the first of the four immeasurables (the others being compassion (karuna), joy (mudita), and equanimity (upekkha). At the retreat, we learned that we could cultivate metta by actively practicing these feelings and thoughts. In the metta-bhvana practice, you focus your feelings of goodwill, love, kindness toward yourself or another being. While you are doing this, you repeat statements like:
May I be safe and protected.
May I be peaceful and happy
May I be healthy and strong
May I be free from suffering
…or four similar phrases offering beneficent intentions toward the object of your meditation. This can be done while sitting, during walking meditation, or throughout the day while going about other activities.
Sometimes in metta practice, it is suggested that phase one consists of practicing the meditation with oneself as the object. Salzburg rightly pointed out that one’s self is, unfortunately, the most difficult person to practice compassion and lovingkindness toward 5. It was suggested that we start with someone easy (I think she suggested the Dalai Lama or a child as some examples that people have used to start their practice). Definitely don’t start with the more difficult people in your life. Don’t start with your ex-husband, or that politician you dislike, or your alcoholic parent. Save them for last, then learn to direct your practice toward all beings.
Part of our practice at the retreat was to go out into the community, walk mindfully, and practice metta on people we passed on the street. “Remember, we’re in a neighborhood – look normal,” Salzburg told us. I was reminded of something I read by a Buddhist author – I think it was Jack Kornfield – who said that his teenage son had referred to the slow-paced walking meditation done in vipassana practice as, “night of the living dead.” In other words, we were to look alive, not to go out and stalk around the community like zombies 6.
Hmmm, then…who to make the beneficiary of my practice? The older woman quietly tending to her garden, suddenly looking with suspicion at this sudden throng of happy people invading her quiet neighborhood? The heavy metal dude who looked like he’d just been through hell the night before and was nursing a powerful hangover? The young, beautiful, bohemian woman who chose to take the opportunity to sit easily in front of the Buddhist center, on the concrete, in full lotus position? No, she was definitely not a target for my lovingkindness at that moment.
On our first run, I sent out random goodwill vibes to anyone I met on the street, or focused on someone I knew and liked. Then, on our second run I found it – the perfect object for my practice: a tiny Boston Terrier puppy. This would be easy! Easier than practicing on my own two dogs who, though cute, tend to strain my compassion when they chew up my mini blinds. We naturally have loving feelings towards small animals and babies, so here was the perfect object for my practice.
Unfortunately, I had competition. Eyeballing my metta target was another retreat participant. Our eyes met.
“The puppy will me mine, DukkhaGirl!” said my rival
“Not so fast kemo sabe,” I retorted, “This puppy deserves my enhanced long-acting metta powers!”
Of course, this was all in my mind. No words were spoken, as this was a silent practice, but the exchanged glances said it all.
What were the possible outcomes of this? I suppose we could have shared, and both followed the puppy, but the puppy was also attached to an owner, who might have been a bit unsettled by two silent women suddenly changing directions and following him 7. In the end, I decided to let metta rule. In the interest of the appearance of normalcy, lovingkindness, and putting others first, I bowed out, smiled at the woman, who smiled back, and proceeded the other direction, bulging a vein trying to force feelings of compassion and goodwill onto her.
Have I practiced metta since? Now and then? Do I think it helps? Well, my advanced long-acting metta powers say it all! Now, I can generate compassion towards kittens and bunnies as well as puppies.
Some metta resources:
- OK, that’s never been said, but I feel it implied. Hey, I am girlie. ↩
- http://www.wildmind.org/blogs/book-reviews/lovingkindness-sharon-salzberg ↩
- I will point out, to be fair, that research has found that it’s not just being happy that makes you smile, but the act of smiling itself can actually make you happier( http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=smile-it-could-make-you-happier) and that I’ve been accused of “smiling too much,” throughout my life. Why does smiling bug some people? ↩
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metta ↩
- I read somewhere that the Dalai Lama was surprised at the western tendency toward self-loathing. Self-hatred is apparently foreign to the Tibetan culture. How wonderful! Likewise, he didn’t understand the concept of guilt when asked about it at a conference ↩
- Infecting others with our lovingkindness! Hey, that’s way better than then flesh-eating type of zombie. ↩
- Or, who knows, maybe this is every guy’s dream, and the reason he bought the puppy in the first place. ↩
Summer 2010
01 year ago
Click to see entire image
This was my first site header — Summer 2010. I love retro stuff — Anne Taintor magnets, things like that. I stuck this picture in my header, but when I looked more closely, I could see that she seemed to be happily standing in front of a fridge full of…MEAT! But then I realized this is just like my real life, trying to follow a vegetarian diet in a household, and a world, surrounded mostly by carnivores. So, uh, honey? Where’s the tofu?
What Happened to Boca Brats?
61 year ago
Bring it Back!
Staying on a vegetarian diet has often been difficult for me, as I live in a household of mostly carnivores. I’ve become much better at making tasty tofu dishes, but often it helps if I have good meat substitutes handy that I can take to that picnic or barbecue. There are, fortunately, many products on the market…some good, many not. So far, I haven’t had that much luck finding a sausage substitute that I really like — except for the Boca Bratwurst. Put it on a bun, add some onions and condiments and — yum! — it satisfied my bratwurst craving (and led a family member to question w
hy I had started eating meat again).
There was one store in my area that had carried these, and, at some point, I realized they were no longer there. Being a procrastinator, I put off asking about where they’d gone, assuming the store had just stopped carrying them or they were out of stock. They never came back. Finally, I got active (well, the word active is debatable as all it entailed was me getting online) to find out what had happened to the Boca Brats, only to find that they had discontinued their whole sausage line.
There’s an online petition here to save the Boca Brats and you can also join a Facebook group to save the Boca Brats (or you can call 1-877-966-8769 to contact Boca Products, now owned by Kraft, I understand). At this writing, the petition has only 369 signatures, which I doubt will be enough to get these puppies back on the shelves…but one can always hope.
Buddhadog
01 year ago
by CJ
in Zencessories
Does a dog have Buddha nature? I think this statue answers the question.
I found the image online, but I have come across this one at the store, probably because I shop at places like Archie McPhee’s, where I also found it online.
Like this Zencessory?:
On Gossip
21 year ago
Gossip is a subject that has been coming up often lately in my life, one that relates back to the subjects of Right Speech. I’ve had it in the back of my mind to write about this subject for some time. Today, I walked into Barnes and Noble and browsed the magazine section. This month Tricycle magazine featured a few pieces about gossip, so I had to pick up a copy. This brought the subject back to the foreground of my mind and got me off my cushion (in other words, off my butt) and in front of my laptop.
Click here for the article by Nancy Baker at Tricycle magazine.
There are two sides in my neighborhood. There’s the “Desperate Housewives” side, and the “Quiet Side.” I live on the quiet side (I like to think of it as the peaceful, Zen side). There are pluses and minuses to both sides. This is a newer neighborhood and on the Desperate Housewives side of things, there has been camaraderie among many of the women; they are around the same age, have children around the same age, and seem to share a taste for ribald humor, drinking, and….gossip. There is also a great deal of drama and conflict – prime fodder for juicy gossip. On the quiet side, we are friendly but more distant. There are no cliques (though at least one person is a member of the Desperate Housewives posse), though there are some friendships and – as far as I know – there is nobody being singled out for exclusion (unless it’s me). There’s not the drama, but there’s not the community.
I know about the Desperate Housewives side, because they sometimes come over to the quiet side of the neighborhood. And with them, they bring gossip. The subjects range from which spouses they suspect of having affairs, to who is being too persistent in trying to include herself in one of the group member’s social lives (often tagged with statements like, “we’re not that close anyway, doesn’t she have anyone else she could call?”), to whose parenting they don’t approve of, along with more innocuous topics 1 When the gossip starts flying, I often feel uncomfortable, because, on one hand, there’s a real interest in hearing what’s going on, mixed with a temptation to join in. Yet, the fact is, gossip can hurt people.
So why gossip? There’s a reason gossip is sometimes called, “juicy.” Sometimes, there’s something almost luscious about getting your mind off your own problems by talking about other people’s. Gossip gives us something to talk about, a way to connect with the group. We’ve evolved as social animals, and gossip can give us a sense of social inclusion. It’s “us” vs. “them” and we want to be part of the “us,” like Michael worrying about being excluded from water cooler gossip on “The Office.” (more…)
- Like current events, who everyone would “do” (George Clooney! Tiger Woods! Angelina Jolie!), and updates on everyone’s lives. ↩
