On Meditation: Part Two: What Meditation Isn’t

In my last post, I stated that I thought the best definition for meditation was, “A practice for training the mind ¹.  Sometimes, I’ve run into misconceptions about meditation—some of them my own, some of them from other people.  I think my last post would have been more complete if I had stated not just what meditation is, but what meditation is not.  This is based on my own experience and practice, feel free to disagree.  So, here goes…

10 Things that Meditation Isn’t

1. Total lack of thoughts: I’ll probably say this again in a future post, but you are going to have thoughts when you meditate. This happens to everyone.  We all have time, even spontaneously during that day when we are not meditating, even that we don’t notice, when we are not thinking.  But thoughts will come during our meditation time, just like they do at any other.  Don’t judge yourself or your practice negatively because you keep thinking when you’re on the cushion.  My favorite analogy ²is of thoughts as clouds that pass.  Thoughts will come and thoughts will go.  Let them drift across your consciousness – don’t criticize yourself for having them and push them away (aversion), or cling to them and follow them (attachment).  Just let them go.  When we grasp at a thought, and then follow it to the next thought and the next like a monkey swinging on vines in the jungle (monkey mind), we soon find ourselves lost.  But, that happens.  When it happens, just gently bring yourself back to your breath or whatever your focus of meditation is.
2. Something that will make you constantly blissful: This misconception goes something like this:  “I’ll meditate, become enlightened, and then I’ll be in a state of bliss.”  OK, I’m exaggerating – a bit.  I think that some come to meditation striving for enlightenment or looking for a quick path to happiness.  You can have feelings of bliss during and resulting from your practice.  And meditation is part of a lifestyle that can lead to greater happiness.  But, like everything else, bliss is impermanent.  As the saying goes, “After the ecstasy, the laundry.”  We meditate, but ultimately the real measure of our practice is how it helps us deal with those day to day tasks and dilemmas we find anything but blissful ³.
3. An instant antidote to your problems: This is a companion to #2.  Remember that parable where the Buddha tells the farmer that everyone has 83 problems, and he can’t help the farmer with any of them – but he can help with the 84th problem?  “What’s that?” the farmer asks, and the Buddha tells him that the 84th problem is that we don’t want to have any problems.  Meditate, get off the cushion, and your problems will still be there.  Not only that, but you might develop more insight and realize you have even more problems that you thought you did.  But as you develop the ability to take things more moment-by-moment, you might find that you are able to deal with these problems with more equanimity and with a greater sense of calm…and eventually get to the point where you either have fewer problems because you’ve finally dealt with them, have accepted the problems that you can’t change, or even befriended some of your problems and changed your attitude to where you no longer see them as problems.
4. Progressive relaxation: Got anxiety?  Got muscle tension?  Progressive relaxation can be great.  Lie yourself down, start at your toes, tense up your muscles and release.  It can been a great way to get rid of that tension.  It can even been a great way to relax your body before meditation, if it doesn’t make you sleepy.  But progressive relaxation is not meditation.
5. Creative visualization: This one is debatable.  Tantric Buddhist practices involve a lot of visualization – the practitioner visualizes him- or herself as a specific deity to identify with and take on the qualities of that deity – for example, Chenrezig (Avalokiteshvara) to develop qualities of compassion. I am not criticizing this practice, though I have not found it to be for me at this time, and I suppose it could be counted as a tool for training the mind.  But somehow, I see meditation and visualization as different practices, though they can complement each other.
6. A tool of Satan:  I really hate that I have to include this one.  Many years ago when I was younger and told my mom I was meditating, she ⁴ mentioned that she had seen someone on TV who said that meditation would open your mind, “and then anything can get in there.”  I also had Pentecostal neighbors as a child and teenager who told me something similar.  I hope I don’t have to say that an open mind is NOT a bad thing.  A closed mind = attachment to views.  We all, of course, get attached to our views and want to see them as right, but some people take this to the extreme and are afraid of anything that conflicts with their world view.
7. A competitive sport:  I posted about this at http://dukkhagirl.thisiszen.com/2010/07/29/zen-is-not-a-competitive-sport/ as well.  Your meditation practice is going well?  Great!  But it’s not the occasion to brag or show off about how many sesshin you’ve attended, what teachers you have studied with, how long you can sit in full lotus, how many experiences of kensho you’ve had, or how many koans you’ve mastered.  If you’re just sharing information, OK.  But, I’ve met or heard of a few who seem to want to brag about their practice.  Remember, elevating yourself above others is not in keeping with Buddhist practice.  Yes, there are people who know more, are more experienced, or have a deeper meditation practice—that’s why we have teachers…but the best teachers and practitioners I’ve met don’t brag.  Also see below (#8).
8. A reason for negative self-judgment or comparing yourself with others: As in #7, don’t brag – but also don’t condemn. Be OK with where your practice is right now.  My teacher compares this self-judgment to a sandwich – we make one layer by making a judgment about our practice, then we add a second layer for judging ourselves for judging – and on it goes – you can have a sandwich with as many layers as you want.  I’m trying to convert mine from a multilayered Dagwood-sized sub to a thin panini. In the book Nonviolent Communication , Marshall Rosenburg refers to a book called How to Make Yourself Miserable by Dan Greenburg in which he states:
   

   (Dan Greenburg) suggests that if readers have the desire to make life miserable for themselves, they might learn to compare themselves to other people.  For those unfamiliar with this practice, he provides a few exercises.  The first one displays full-length pictures of a man and a woman embody ideal physical beauty by contemporary media standards.  Readers are instructed to take their own body measurements, compare them to those superimposed on pictures of the attractive specimens, and dwell on the differences…He turns to the phone book to give readers a few random individuals to compare themselves with.  The first name he claims to have pulled out of the phone book is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.  Greenburg lists the languages Mozart spoke and the major pieces he had composed by the time he was a teenager.  The exercise then instructs readers to reflect on their own achievements at their current stage of life, to compare them with what Mozart had accomplished by the age of twelve, and to dwell on the differences ⁵

   Role models are OK, but don’t go around comparing yourself with Thich Nhat Hanh, the Dalai Lama, your teacher, or even that guy sitting on the zafu next to yours at the zendo.

9. Selfish: Is using your time sitting on a cushion everyday selfish?  I’ve heard criticism toward some Buddhist groups for not being activist enough.  Meditation is a self-care activity in some ways.  So is exercise, brushing your teeth or taking a shower.  Are those things selfish?  If meditation makes me a better person to be around; if it helps me to be calmer, more aware, more present that benefits everyone around me.  Most of our hours of the day are spent off the cushion.  If our sitting practice helps us be more mindful in all the other stuff we do, is that selfish?
10. Easy/Difficult: Here we go judging again.  Maybe both of these things are true.  Maybe neither are.  Maybe both are just stories we tell ourselves.  Sitting on a cushion and following the breath or counting to ten is easy, right?  What could be more simple?  And yet, staying present can be difficult.  That monkey mind creeps in again.  Again, your practice is what it is.  Try not to slap labels on it.